Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches' Guide to Romance Novels

~by Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan

I don't remember exactly how I found out about Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, but ever since I did I have been a frequent visitor to the site, particularly enjoying their Cover Snarks. When I learned that Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan were writing a book, Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches' Guide to Romance Novels, I knew that I would need to pick up a copy. I wasn't disappointed; the book is just as informative, opinionated, irreverent, snarky, and raunchy as the website--only more portable.

Romance is probably one of the most maligned genres out there, which is somewhat surprising as it is probably the top bestselling genre, too. And it's not just the books--romance readers are also subject to harsh (and inaccurate) stereotyping. That's where the Smart Bitches come in to dispel the myths surrounding the romance genre and make fun of what's truly bad. Beyond Heaving Bosoms serves as an introduction, defense, and reader's guide to romance with a good deal of snark thrown in. They aren't afraid to revel in the ridiculous, but don't forget to point out the genre's redeeming qualities as well.

The Smart Bitches cover quite a bit of territory in Beyond Heaving Bosoms. "Chapter Cleavage" (yes...these really are the names of the chapters) is a very brief introduction to the romance genre and to the Smart Bitches themselves. "Chapter Petticoat" looks at the history of the modern romance novel, including a comparison of Old Skool and New Skool romances. "Chapter Corset" focuses on the various types of heroines and their associated tropes while "Chapter Codpiece" does the same for the romance hero. "Chapter Secret Cowboy Baby" examines the often overused and just plain bad plot devices and the ever present clichés. Also included is a survey of a variety of current genre trends. "Chapter WTF" defends the genre, while "Chapter Bad Sex" addresses rape in romance (obviously a controversial subject), and "Chapter Love Grotto" champions the inclusion of good sex. "Chapter Phallus," appropriately the longest chapter (wink wink, nudge nudge), is basically most everything else all shoved together: covers (and the requisite snark), controversies, scandals, and what amounts to an activity book (complete with mad-libs, a maze, and a color by number). Finally, there's "Chapter Heaving Bosom," where the Smart Bitches take the opportunity to discuss where the genre is heading and where they would like to see it go. Peppered throughout the book are quizzes, interviews, and a whole bunch of other random and delightful stuff.

Candy and Sarah's passion for the romance genre is readily apparent and their enthusiasm is catching. Even though I'm not a frequent romance reader, I still ended up with a very long reading list based on what the Smart Bitches had to say. The book is not without it's flaws. Although it includes a section for works cited in the text, unfortunately there is no index, making it difficult to find specific information or recommendations again. Some sections, particularly the activities and the "Choose Your Own Man Titty" are pretty much just novelties that felt more like filler material more than anything else. Amusing, yes, but occasionally tedious and generally dispensable. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed Beyond Heaving Bosoms; the authors are entertaining, knowledgeable, and quite often brutally honest (but all in the name of love!, or rather Luuuuurve™). I would not hesitate to recommend the book to anyone interested in the romance genre, fan or not, but only if I knew they were not easily offended; there are quite a few choice words and the sheer number of euphemisms is rather impressive. Regardless, or perhaps in part due to this, the book is an absolute riot.



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